Feeling overwhelmed…then a lurch in perspective.

We hit a low yesterday. It felt like we had a lot to deal with already; culture adjustment, living in one room for almost 3 months, feeling the hospital house will never be finished, issues over payment of our bill at the Guest House (now sorted), and Tim’s dad in hospital for the week with a still undiagnosed problem while we’re unable to help on the other side of the world. Then Tim got a phone call about the car, saying that after a month of long, tiring trips to Kigali, paperwork and bureaucracy they will not register the car in our name because it is right-hand drive (despite Tim having asked this question in the office there a number of times and being told it would be fine). We may have to export the car and sell it elsewhere, probably losing money, then begin the process again with another car. We had no emotional reserves left to deal with this blow, and took it hard. We sat around feeling overwhelmed, sad and wanting to just leave. We sent out a prayer request, prayed, and tried to remember that God had brought us here and that following him is our priority. We continued to feel overwhelmed and had trouble concentrating on anything.

The children, of course, played on as usual. After a while, Will asked if his friends from behind the back ‘fence’ could come and visit. We had never visited them before – they always just turned up to play. I hoped I wasn’t making any cultural mistakes as we slipped out the side gate, and walked along the little dirt track that follows our back garden wall around the corner. There are five little houses perched side-by-side on the green slope there filled with diocese employees. The last is occupied by a Pastor and his family with four children; William and Hannah’s friends. Two were at school, but the oldest and the youngest were there, and their mother greeted us kindly. We were welcomed into the sitting room, and she took me along the hallway to find her one-year-old son waking up in bed. I realised that they were in a house of four very small rooms (pictured below, the house to the left that is facing the camera), with a very small area of playable garden outside for the four children to enjoy due to the slope and use of the garden for growing food. Their mother apologised that she didn’t have any tea to offer me, a little embarrassed. After her son was dressed we walked together with the children up the dirt path to our side of the wall, as she politely accompanied us home in the Rwandan fashion, then the four children and I ducked through the gate and we said goodbye.

We walked onto our spacious back lawn, big enough to play soccer, which our kids enjoy every day. We sat in the shared sitting room and watched the Royal Wedding while the smaller kids played with Duplo and dolls. Suddenly, my perspective lurched and I realised that we were very comfortable, and had much to be thankful for. We have a charming house being prepared for us. Meanwhile, we have a comfortable place to wait surrounded by friendly people. Even the problem with the car, although eating up time and energy, could be looked on with rose coloured glasses. We are able to buy a car. And Tim’s Dad is receiving the best medical care. His hospital bills will be paid and he is able to access everything available to assist him (unlike the majority of Rwandans). Actually, we have much to be thankful for. And little reason to feel hard done by.

This morning’s Bible reading was also on-topic:

Philippians 4:4-9

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Whatever you have learnt or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”