Language Study, New Babies and Group Parenting

To thrive here, we need to be able to communicate in Kinyarwanda. But it’s a long, hard road. The big goal seems so far away and there is always the possibility that I may not achieve it! We are plodding away, trying to keep focused on small goals that definitely can be achieved. With two little ones it would be helpful to have more time to devote to the task, and I am hopeful that when we move into our new house the person who helps us there with cleaning will be good with the children and can give me some time to focus.

On an encouraging note, on the long bus ride home from Kigali yesterday I think I understood a tiny bit of the radio program! I say ‘I think’ because I may well be wrong, but I definitely knew some of the words and am guessing (given the genre) at the gist of the conversation. Anyway, it made me smile!

Oh, and I am informed there was a general discussion on the bus about me breastfeeding Hannah. I was told most people here think white women must bottle feed because they are not seen feeding in public, and everyone was pleasantly surprised. I was also told that I am the best kind of wife because I produced a boy first and then a girl; one of each in that order is the highest goal, and mine are close together too in true Rwandan fashion. If only I would stop feeding them cold drinks and ice-cream I might make a good Rwandan mother! Oh, and stop tying Hannah into her high chair “like a goat”, as Andrew exclaims without fail each morning, chuckling.

I’m grateful for the community approach to parenting here. At home people might tell you what to do, but here they also pitch in and help without blinking. People are very gentle and accommodating of children. There’s a cultural rule that you treat all children as you would your own, and when we are out and about people help out without thinking. This is particularly helpful on long bus rides!

Yesterday we visited our friends Manzi and Ami, who have a heart-melting newborn baby Olga. Then we visited her sister, William’s friend Ophra, who is staying with her cousins at the moment (community parenting again), and the kids all disappeared in a pack. It was wonderful to see Will so comfortable. In fact, he asked if he could stay without us! Quite a milestone. He’s also started to enjoy the attention he gets as we walk down the street, almost encouraging it rather than being stressed by it. When we go back to Australia he’s going to wonder why nobody pays him any attention!