Power Vs Fear

During our cross-cultural study at St Andrew’s Hall, we learnt that there are three main paradigms that cultures operate in; ‘right-wrong’ (the Western world exists here), ‘honour-shame’ (the Middle East and parts of Asia exist here), and ‘power-fear’ (much of Africa). Unpacking what this means in practice can be fascinating, and for me it made me realise that some of the values and ways of thinking that I know at such a deep level I assumed they were global, are actually not at all.

We had a really wonderful conversation with a Rwandan friend after Hannah’s party, unpacking what the Power-Fear paradigm way of viewing the world looks like in practice here in Rwanda. We have no way near enough understanding to draw any conclusions or make reasonable judgements, but here are the ‘facts’ gathered as food for thought. Remember when reading them that your world view is probably strongly ‘right-wrong’, and more than that if you are Australian it is hugely egalitarian (seeing all people as equal). Try to be open to another way of seeing things…

In Rwanda hierarchy matters. If you’re a ‘big man’ or ‘big woman’, those below you do not question you despite their own opinions for fear of repercussions such as loosing their job or privileges. In each relationship, the power is held by the person who is higher up in importance. There is a relationship between retaining that power and maintaining the fear of those lower down. The power is kept in part by retaining knowledge. Examples of this all in practice are;

• - A father would not answer his child’s questions, at least not answer them honestly, as sharing knowledge equates to sharing power. (William is in the midst of the ‘why’ stage, and Andrew is always surprised by our honest exchanges and explanations to him.)
• - At home the father sitting in the big chair and being brought different options to eat, saying yes or no and having his wishes promptly seen to.
• - Supporting extended family such as siblings financially while living under your roof (perhaps paying their way through school), and having them play a role very like a servant in the house.
• - At a public gathering having seating for the ‘big people’ that acknowledges their standing. (We were advised to have a table for them at Hannah’s party. I was interested to see that everyone quickly identified where their type of seating was in a matter-of-fact way.)
• - People at the bottom of the hierarchy being afraid to attend a gathering where their boss is present, for fear of appearing to overstep their position and loose their job. (The gardener and night watchman made a quick appearance at Hannah’s party after much coaxing and then made a quick exit.)
• - A woman who has children achieves personal standing. Her job also influences it. A man’s standing in society comes from his job. (Thus the lady cleaners who have children confidently attended Hannah’s party.)
• - Sometimes if you ask someone what they are doing today they will tell you a fabrication such as, “I am going to Kigali (the capital)” when they are really going down the street. (We haven’t experienced this yet and I’m still trying to get my head around it. This one in particular makes it clear how far I have to go to understand this world view!)

Of course, the society here is complex and layered, and like anywhere you can’t sum up everyone with such broad brush strokes. But the general gist of how many people think is just starting to be revealed.

And I’m left wondering…if the children are not supposed to ask questions, is it fair to them/ their families/ their future teachers for their teacher Mrs Walker to allow and encourage it? What would the repercussions be? Is the cost to each party worth any potential benefit? I don’t know. Not sure I ever will. But can I change my world view enough to NOT answer questions? Should I? I have a sneaking suspicion that I might always wonder, whatever my choice.