A big couple of days

We’re all dead tired tonight. Catherine has had a big day with the kids, I had a busy one at the hospital (4 gastroscopies, 2 colonoscopies, a surgical consult and a few ward patients,with lots of admin in between) and no-one slept much last night.

William and I had a long day yesterday; a 13 hour round trip to Kigali. William was very excited to have a day outing with his dad, even though we warned him in advance it would mostly involve travelling, queuing and shopping. And so it proved to be! We did the 2 and a half hour trip on the bus each way, caught 2 minibuses and a motorbike around the suburbs of Kigali, shopped at 3 supermarkets and 2 bookshops, spent an hour each at the Directorate of Immigration and Tigo Internet office. William walked everywhere and was beautifully behaved, only putting his foot down when it got to 1.30pm and lunch still hadn’t arrived (breakfast had been at 7am). He seems to be entering a new phase of relationship and language learning, quizzing our student fellow traveller on the bus about how to say “dog”, “tree”, “handle” and about 70 other animals and objects in Kinyarwanda. The other day he held up a knife and asked Catherine what it was called in Kinyarwanda… while she was still racking her brains for the word, he answered his own question: “icyuma”!

The good news from the Kigali trip is we now should have a stable, if somewhat limited, internet connection, as well as having our passports back, complete with holographic Rwandan visas valid until Dec 31st! We still need to make 2 more trips to Kigali to submit and collect our “green card” identity papers, but progress is definitely being made. We also test drove a car last weekend, but decided to keep looking, which probably involves more trips to Kigali to shop around.

I’ve been asked by a colleague to read and edit his PhD which is ready for final submission, and the medical department is pressing me hard to begin a gastroenterology outpatient service, for the many patients with GI complaints. I need to get our endoscopy service upgraded and a functional test for Helicobacter (a stomach bug) up and running, with staff trained to administer it. I also need to get letters of appointment straightened out with hospital and university, 2 research projects up and running, and finalise a teaching roster for the new interns on our ward. April is looking like a busy month already…

Our house is progressing steadily. The new bathroom has been fitted, plumbing is complete and all the tiling is done. Inside cabinet making, kitchen fitout and painting and decoration as well as furniture still need to be organised, while outside is still a wasteland. I don’t think we’ll be moving in before late April at the earliest.

While life is busy, emotionally we’ve all been at a bit of a low ebb too. We miss all our friends and family in Australia, and it takes energy to focus on those people God has put around us rather than just feel sorry for ourselves or long for visitors.  For me, at the moment, it’s a real spiritual challenge to rely on God alone, and not on roles, busyness with tasks or little comforts to sustain me. Your prayers are appreciated!

Finally a few pics.

Hannah tends to lead and William to follow at the moment, as evidenced by the puddle-drinking behaviour observed below:

William and Catherine made a very fine hat which Hannah took great pleasure in wearing, to the great amusement of all she met:

And finally, a contemplative moment for Will on a weekend walk:

Tim’s six week check!

So, I just realised that today marks six weeks since we arrived in Rwanda. I was reflecting today on what has changed in our time here, and what has stayed the same.

Some of the things that have changed include:

We recognise about 200 words of Kinyarwanda (greetings, foods, body parts, people, jobs, numbers, and some basic verbs). We can even use some of them.

Hannah is now aged one and walking everywhere (and running when she likes, usually away from us, giggling.)

My belt is two holes tighter. Catherine and Will have also lost lots of weight. Hannah has gained a cute little pot belly.

Will is beginning to greet and interact with African children in the street, rather than hiding behind us. He also runs off ahead at every opportunity.

We know our way around Butare, where the restaurants and shops are, and have explored the main roads out of town on foot. I also have some idea of the suburbs and layout of Kigali from repeated trips there for visas.

I can play basketball for 5-10 minutes before being completely out of breath. On arrival, because of the altitude (1750m), we’d get out of breath walking.

We have visas legally allowing us to stay in Rwanda for the whole of 2011, and I am registered as a Rwandan medical practitioner.

I have new interns to train on the medical ward this week. The previous group had their exams last week, and have moved on to paediatrics, but I’m still supervising two of them for research projects (on H Pylori and ascites).

We have made friends with several African and expatriates families. William still misses his friends from Australia, but increasingly wants to spend time with his local friends too!

Some of the things that haven’t changed include:

We’re still living in a single room in the Anglican Guest House. It’s a lovely room, but with 4 of us in it for 6 weeks, we’ll be glad when our hospital house is ready.

We’re only just beginning to realise how differently Rwandan culture works from our own. (See Catherine’s recent post on Power/Fear cultures)

The kids still love Playschool. Will watches 2 episodes a day and would watch more if we let him.

God’s character. He’s just as faithful, loving and dependable as ever.

Our internet. It’s still unreliable and expensive. Hopefully the new Rwandatel server will be up and running soon.

Hannah’s character. She’s a born charmer, who generally has anyone she meets doting on her in seconds. Several Rwandan friends have suggested we leave her with them when we go home. She has a powerful indignant whine too, though!

Improvement

Life seems to be getting into a pattern. We’ve been here six weeks, and less things each day take us by surprise. Last week was pretty good – fairly social with two birthdays, a new acquaintance (a missionary G.P. from Kigali) who joined us for dinner twice – once on the balcony and once in the kitchen, a couple of British med students working at the hospital, and the arrival of Bishop Nathan back from America.

Also, our Visas were approved! We went out to dinner to celebrate. Being legal in the country feels like quite a milestone, and after talking to others we get the impression that ours came through relatively easily (only five or six visits to Kigali – a two hour drive each way, and a single late fine).

Yesterday we went for a long walk and got a lovely surprise when a local troop of monkeys crossed the road before us. They were very cute! Especially the little ones. When we looked up we noticed that a whole crowd had gathered…to watch us. We felt a bit like monkeys then! We continued down one of the ever bending roads, all of which skirt around Rwanda’s thousand hilltops, taking in the stunning, lush green scenery.

Some days this week I felt really happy, walking around with a spring in my step and a ready smile. Others I’ve felt quite low. Today is a low day when things seem harder than they are. Six weeks down, how many more until the emotional roller coaster of this move to Africa levels out? Quite a few months more.

Meanwhile, I am learning a couple of things. To be thankful that God is constant in the midst of so much change. Will loves that too. It makes him smile. And now that so many gaps have been made in my ‘friend life’, it’s a good time to fill that up somewhat with God. I should have prioritised Him better before, but I didn’t. And the thing about relying more on God is that the foundations of my life will be so much firmer. No matter where I go, or what happens to me, He will stay the same and His part in my life will be the constant. I miss my family and friends. I will never have to miss God.

Power Vs Fear

During our cross-cultural study at St Andrew’s Hall, we learnt that there are three main paradigms that cultures operate in; ‘right-wrong’ (the Western world exists here), ‘honour-shame’ (the Middle East and parts of Asia exist here), and ‘power-fear’ (much of Africa). Unpacking what this means in practice can be fascinating, and for me it made me realise that some of the values and ways of thinking that I know at such a deep level I assumed they were global, are actually not at all.

We had a really wonderful conversation with a Rwandan friend after Hannah’s party, unpacking what the Power-Fear paradigm way of viewing the world looks like in practice here in Rwanda. We have no way near enough understanding to draw any conclusions or make reasonable judgements, but here are the ‘facts’ gathered as food for thought. Remember when reading them that your world view is probably strongly ‘right-wrong’, and more than that if you are Australian it is hugely egalitarian (seeing all people as equal). Try to be open to another way of seeing things…

In Rwanda hierarchy matters. If you’re a ‘big man’ or ‘big woman’, those below you do not question you despite their own opinions for fear of repercussions such as loosing their job or privileges. In each relationship, the power is held by the person who is higher up in importance. There is a relationship between retaining that power and maintaining the fear of those lower down. The power is kept in part by retaining knowledge. Examples of this all in practice are;

• - A father would not answer his child’s questions, at least not answer them honestly, as sharing knowledge equates to sharing power. (William is in the midst of the ‘why’ stage, and Andrew is always surprised by our honest exchanges and explanations to him.)
• - At home the father sitting in the big chair and being brought different options to eat, saying yes or no and having his wishes promptly seen to.
• - Supporting extended family such as siblings financially while living under your roof (perhaps paying their way through school), and having them play a role very like a servant in the house.
• - At a public gathering having seating for the ‘big people’ that acknowledges their standing. (We were advised to have a table for them at Hannah’s party. I was interested to see that everyone quickly identified where their type of seating was in a matter-of-fact way.)
• - People at the bottom of the hierarchy being afraid to attend a gathering where their boss is present, for fear of appearing to overstep their position and loose their job. (The gardener and night watchman made a quick appearance at Hannah’s party after much coaxing and then made a quick exit.)
• - A woman who has children achieves personal standing. Her job also influences it. A man’s standing in society comes from his job. (Thus the lady cleaners who have children confidently attended Hannah’s party.)
• - Sometimes if you ask someone what they are doing today they will tell you a fabrication such as, “I am going to Kigali (the capital)” when they are really going down the street. (We haven’t experienced this yet and I’m still trying to get my head around it. This one in particular makes it clear how far I have to go to understand this world view!)

Of course, the society here is complex and layered, and like anywhere you can’t sum up everyone with such broad brush strokes. But the general gist of how many people think is just starting to be revealed.

And I’m left wondering…if the children are not supposed to ask questions, is it fair to them/ their families/ their future teachers for their teacher Mrs Walker to allow and encourage it? What would the repercussions be? Is the cost to each party worth any potential benefit? I don’t know. Not sure I ever will. But can I change my world view enough to NOT answer questions? Should I? I have a sneaking suspicion that I might always wonder, whatever my choice.

Happy 1st Birthday Hannah!

Diary of her day…

6am

Woke for a feed. Mamma whispered happy birthday. Daddy woke soon after and gave her a birthday cuddle. A little while later Will woke, and excitedly gave Hannah the present he had wrapped and card he had made, proudly tracing ‘William’ at the bottom. Hannah was very pleased with her doll. She had found it in the cupboard a couple of days before and cuddled it instantly, so we knew it would be a hit. She then opened a present that had travelled with us from Australia – a lovely new outfit from Helen.

We dressed and went to breakfast, which Andrew cooks in the Guest House kitchen and meals area. Hannah enjoyed her milk, banana, passion fruit, toast and omelette as usual, sitting in her high chair. She had a lesson in table manners. (Very wanting – as she has developed a culture of tantrums and having a selection of 5 foods in front of her while demanding the exact same thing from someone else’s plate. The lesson went well – she’s a fast learner and has been much more pleasant at the table since!)

9am

Hannah and Mamma enjoyed a walk to the post office to see if the present from Oma had arrived yet. It hadn’t, but should do soon. Hannah fell asleep on the way home.

12pm

Hannah woke to find her doll had been napping too – in a doll’s bed from Grandma and Grandad which had just been finished across the road. Hannah enjoyed putting her dolls to bed, and then decided to use it as a couch.

Daddy cooked pikelets for lunch while Mamma was cooking for the party, and then Hannah (after playing in a muddy puddle) had a shower and played tea parties with Jane.

2pm

Guests began to arrive – about 25 all together. Hannah enjoyed eating, playing, cuddling and opening presents. These included a doll, giraffe, biscuits, home-grown cabbage, mangoes, papaya, bananas and pineapple.

Hannah had spent the previous day practicing blowing out her candle, but got stage fright at the vital moment. William kindly stepped in and helped her out. Then she ate some more, played some more and cuddled some more.  She enjoyed her party!

4.30pm

The guests left and Hannah had a nap. In fact, she told us she needed one and almost took herself off to bed.

5.30pm

Hannah woke and looked at a couple of enchanting e-cards and emails with birthday wishes. She tried to eat one of her birthday mangoes unpeeled while playing with William. Then Daddy gave her a left-over sambusa for dinner.

As her Mamma and Frederick were packing up the party room in the dark of evening Hannah decided it was time to play chasey, running away with peals of excited giggles as they followed carrying pieces of furniture. When she got tired, she started putting her dolls to bed, kissing them good night and tucking them under the covers.

8pm

Hannah went to bed after a big, exciting day. I zipped closed her mosquito-proof camping cot at the foot of our bed, and she quickly fell fast asleep.

 

Here’s a few photos of the day. The full album will be up shortly at http://picasaweb.google.com/smegswife/hannahsbirthday. Click on the link if you want to see some more photos of the day!

Update on family life in Rwanda

I realise it’s been a while since our last substantial blog post, but we’ve had excuses! It’s partially as a result of our efforts to get our first newsletter from Rwanda out on time (you should all have received it by now if you’re on our mailing list) and partly because our internet has been slow and unreliable. We’ve also had some sickness in the family, with first Hannah and now Tim and Will having a fever and being a bit under the weather. Hopefully we’re all on the path to recovery, and we hope to have faster, unlimited internet arranged within the next week or so.

We’ve also had some progress on the visa front; Tim’s visa has been issued and the original documents we need to prove Catherine, Will and Hannah are related to him have arrived from Australia. Here’s hoping we may soon be legal in Rwanda!

Will and Hannah may have been a bit sick, but that’s not stopped them from getting into all sorts of mischief together, mischief which seems to multiply by the day as Hannah’s walking gets faster, steadier and capable of carrying her further into trouble. She can carry things as she moves! She loves unpacking almost anything (like the shopping bag below), and has a particular predilection for electronics and cables, which she can also chew upon.

We’ve been enjoying the English language congregation at church, and I took a camera along so that you can put a bit of a picture to the scene. This isn’t the whole cathedral; we meet in one of its transepts.

And finally, we’ve had a tour of our new house-to-be, conducted by the Director General of the hospital.

Our house, with Dr Tindaho’s in the background, sharing a wall and fence

Work is actually moving fairly quickly, with the garden now all weeded and ready to landscape and tiles being laid inside.

 

 Our capacious backyard, currently a “tabula rasa”

Our master bedroom

The bathroom (below left) and lounge room however still have a little way to go:

A new road being built past the house, but it makes access a little tough at the moment. Yes, that is a road in the foreground! The Provincial Army Base is in the background, so we’ll have security nearby!

And finally, a picture of our new resident “garden fountain” at the Guesthouse:

Newsletters

We are writing a quarterly newsletter, mainly for the Christians partnering with us in our work through CMS Australia. If you did not receive this newsletter by email today, and would like to, please send us a request at tcwalker@cms.org.au

An Abundance Of Music

The Anglican Cathedral here has no less than FIVE choirs! Children, teenagers, uni students, adults and the elderly all have their own, and perform each week at the Kinyarwanda service. Some choirs are too big for all members to stand up front so they have to take turns!

Turn Around

Yesterday I was greatly relieved when William, at the last minute, stayed home for the day. Instead of going to school we went to visit a little British/American three-year-old called Rowan and his father Simon. Rowan’s big sister goes to the French school William has been trialling. Rowan and William had a ball together playing cricket (not generally known here), climbing in his two-story tree house and playing with cars, Lego and play dough. All very Western really. William enjoyed it most of all because he could converse with his play mate.

Last night Will and I made a big batch of play dough for him to give as a present to his class. They seem to have very few resources: tables and chairs, a sleeping mat, a sitting mat, a few books (although there is a good little library for taking home, in French and English) and some drawing materials. William really enjoyed making it, staying up a little late with me in the kitchen, and as he slept I used Google Translator (which I seem to use daily at the moment!) to write a note to the teacher in French.

This morning Tim took William to school. His second day. Will cried for less than a minute! (Tim waited around the corner to check.) By 11am I was sure he would have had enough, and walked into town to catch a motorbike. On my way a text arrived from Simon; ‘I’ve just driven past school and saw William playing happily outside’. I almost skipped home, and ran down the ramp to the guesthouse with joy. I would wait for the end of the school day after all.

When I picked Will up he was tired, but fairly happy. His teacher said his day had been on and off, but that his favourite time seemed to be eating his snack (I had packed a chocolate, banana and this time his yoghurt was in tact inside a flask). When we came home I asked Will if he liked being home. “No,” he said, “I like being at school”.

After a moment’s pause, I felt joyful.

School Update

This morning Will woke, quietly climbed out of his cot, lay his head on my lap and asked, “Mum can I go to school?”. He ate breakfast very fast and we left together on the back of a motorbike at 7.15am.

When we got there I introduced him to the toilets…the first time I had taken him to a pit loo! He seemed remarkably unperturbed as I demonstrated how to squat (clothed), saying he could definitely do that! Then as we walked towards the classroom and he realised I would be leaving soon he began to stall.

In the classroom his teacher Maitresse Renatha welcomed Will and he confidently hung his bag on a hook. Then he started to ask if he could come home with me. When I asked if he wanted to show his teacher the things he had packed in his bag, he animatedly opened it ready to pull out his paint set (which he couldn’t wait to use), to discover that yoghurt had spilt through absolutely everything! His face fell. His favourite food was lost and had coated all his newly prized possessions with white goop. Together, his teacher and I cleaned it up. She scrubbed his hat with soap and hung it on the picture string overhead. Then I thought it best to stay a little longer to help Will settle in. The kids all sat in a row on the mat, and Renatha called the roll. The kids then had their first French lesson of the day, taking turns to stand at the front and answer the question, ‘Comment tu t’appelle?” The girl before him was up, and Will was raring to have his turn. In response to the teacher’s question, he bit his fingernail silently. Then said loudly, “I’m biting my nail because I am.” I responded, and his teacher asked, “Can you understand what he says?”. At home tonight he climbed around the room practising happily “Je m’appelle William”.

As the class stood in a circle singing a song, I asked William to kiss me goodbye. He did, and burst into tears. But he kissed me. So I left.

Will’s head and his heart had different opinions about staying at school. Which would win? I hid in the library for a while, chatting to the kind teacher there. She went and spied for me, and returned to say that Will was crying intermittently. I left on the back of the motorbike. The teacher had my number.

I found the day very hard. Quite emotional, and good for remembering to trust God with what I hold dearest. The arrival of 12.30 was quite exciting. Tim and I went on separate motorbikes to collect Will and discover how the day had gone. I arrived first, and was met with a drained but still kind teacher and a little boy with a hoarse voice. “You were far away!” he stated accusingly. And he hadn’t got to use his precious paints; he had been so hoping to. “Did you like school Will?” His answer was firm, “No!”. I thought that was the end of it. Experiment over, at least for this year.

Tim arrived. The two thinkers put their heads together and analysed the day. “Was it good, a bit hard or very hard?” Will thought for a minute. Then said decisively, “A bit hard”. What?! Well I’m not sure I’m up for another emotional day like that, but the two of them are and they’re off to school together in the morning by common assent. I don’t understand myself, but Will is quite committed to the idea and has asked me to video him there. Tim has assured him that the first few days will be hard but it will get easier, and has taken this on board. I’m sure I couldn’t think my way through my emotions when I was two. Not sure I can now.