Caring for people who need money
Here in Rwanda people ask us to help them financially a lot. It’s part of the culture to feel OK about asking for money (unlike in Australia). In the beginning I felt extremely overwhelmed in these frequent situations and afterwards drained. Often people come while my husband is at work, and I have to try to understand what the people who come want (with limited language skills), judge whether the story is true (it usually is), then whether us giving them what they want is actually going to help (this is particularly tricky; something you can spend years studying if you wish), and finally whether we are able to help.
When real people come to you and ask you to give them things you take for granted (food, a roof, school fees, a job so they can feed their family) and you have to look them in the eye and give them your answer, you hope it is the right one on a whole new level, and hope they see that you care about their trouble. With experience it is becoming easier, but I still have a whole lot to learn.
Caring for people who need a lift
In Rwanda we drive past hundreds and thousands of people walking along the roadside. As I pass them I sometimes want to give them all a lift. When it starts to rain I think of how wet and cold they are feeling. Sometimes I know they might be walking a very long way. Sometimes I pass a person who is disabled. Once an old man was shuffling (left foot forward, feet together, left foot forward, feet together) with a walking stick down the side of the main highway as slow as a tortoise. How long would it take him to reach the next town?! Last week I saw a man with no legs on a muddy road after dark, swinging himself along on his hands. It was about to bucket down with rain. I was alone. Should I let him in the car? He had two friends with him who would get in too. Was it safe for me to let them all in? Could I even understand where they want to go if I did?
I’m ashamed to say I haven’t yet stopped to let anyone in. I’m too scared. Because they are strangers, because I’m not confident I can understand where they want to go, and especially because I’m not sure if it is safe. Then I think of Jesus’ story to explain how to be a good neighbour, and I know I’m not being one.
The Parable of the Good Samaritan
On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”
He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’[c]; and, ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ ”
“You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”
But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbour?”
In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he travelled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’
“Which of these three do you think was a neighbour to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”
The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”
Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”
Help with knowing how to care
Last week I passed the man without legs to meet bucketing rain mere minutes later. I thought of him pulling himself along on his hands in slippery mud, in the dark, getting cold and thoroughly drenched. I felt very guilty for passing him by.
I called out for help to navigate it all. I asked God to make it crystal clear from now on who I should help and who I shouldn’t. I asked him to take the burden off my shoulders and put it on his own. As always, he did. I can’t believe I haven’t prayed that prayer before now! What was I thinking? We’ve prayed about helping people in individual situations before, after talking it over we offered up a perfunctory prayer, but it’s the first time I’ve handed the whole thing over fully recognising we can’t do it alone. God likes us to do that; for our own sake. What a relief! I understand I need him, and I get to experience that he’s there for me.
This week has been interesting. There are a few people who have come to us repeatedly for months (one for a year!) as we wondered if and how to help them. This week these situations were suddenly sorted out. It’s wonderful. The widow who has come for a year, we are now helping as she asked. A man who has been coming, it became clear he only wanted continual hand-outs, not the tools to start helping himself when offered.
God knows the best way to care for each person who comes to us. He knows them better than they know themselves. He knows their past and their future, he knows what they need and what will hurt them. Ultimately what they need most of all is him. With him, it will all be OK in the end. Although living in this broken world is pretty tough he’s already worked out how to save us from this big mess we’ve all made. How to bring us close to him again.
Incredibly, I don’t need to care for people without God’s help. I can try, but with him at the helm I will have a lot more success and a lot less stress.
