Caring

Caring for people who need money
Here in Rwanda people ask us to help them financially a lot. It’s part of the culture to feel OK about asking for money (unlike in Australia). In the beginning I felt extremely overwhelmed in these frequent situations and afterwards drained. Often people come while my husband is at work, and I have to try to understand what the people who come want (with limited language skills), judge whether the story is true (it usually is), then whether us giving them what they want is actually going to help (this is particularly tricky; something you can spend years studying if you wish), and finally whether we are able to help.

When real people come to you and ask you to give them things you take for granted (food, a roof, school fees, a job so they can feed their family) and you have to look them in the eye and give them your answer, you hope it is the right one on a whole new level, and hope they see that you care about their trouble. With experience it is becoming easier, but I still have a whole lot to learn.

 

Caring for people who need a lift
In Rwanda we drive past hundreds and thousands of people walking along the roadside. As I pass them I sometimes want to give them all a lift. When it starts to rain I think of how wet and cold they are feeling. Sometimes I know they might be walking a very long way. Sometimes I pass a person who is disabled. Once an old man was shuffling (left foot forward, feet together, left foot forward, feet together) with a walking stick down the side of the main highway as slow as a tortoise. How long would it take him to reach the next town?! Last week I saw a man with no legs on a muddy road after dark, swinging himself along on his hands. It was about to bucket down with rain. I was alone. Should I let him in the car? He had two friends with him who would get in too. Was it safe for me to let them all in? Could I even understand where they want to go if I did?

I’m ashamed to say I haven’t yet stopped to let anyone in. I’m too scared. Because they are strangers, because I’m not confident I can understand where they want to go, and especially because I’m not sure if it is safe. Then I think of Jesus’ story to explain how to be a good neighbour, and I know I’m not being one.

The Parable of the Good Samaritan

On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

“What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”

He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’^[c]; and, ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ ”

“You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”

But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbour?”

In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he travelled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

“Which of these three do you think was a neighbour to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

 

Help with knowing how to care
Last week I passed the man without legs to meet bucketing rain mere minutes later. I thought of him pulling himself along on his hands in slippery mud, in the dark, getting cold and thoroughly drenched. I felt very guilty for passing him by.

I called out for help to navigate it all. I asked God to make it crystal clear from now on who I should help and who I shouldn’t. I asked him to take the burden off my shoulders and put it on his own. As always, he did. I can’t believe I haven’t prayed that prayer before now! What was I thinking? We’ve prayed about helping people in individual situations before, after talking it over we offered up a perfunctory prayer, but it’s the first time I’ve handed the whole thing over fully recognising we can’t do it alone. God likes us to do that; for our own sake. What a relief! I understand I need him, and I get to experience that he’s there for me.

This week has been interesting. There are a few people who have come to us repeatedly for months (one for a year!) as we wondered if and how to help them. This week these situations were suddenly sorted out. It’s wonderful. The widow who has come for a year, we are now helping as she asked. A man who has been coming, it became clear he only wanted continual hand-outs, not the tools to start helping himself when offered.

God knows the best way to care for each person who comes to us. He knows them better than they know themselves. He knows their past and their future, he knows what they need and what will hurt them. Ultimately what they need most of all is him. With him, it will all be OK in the end. Although living in this broken world is pretty tough he’s already worked out how to save us from this big mess we’ve all made. How to bring us close to him again.

Incredibly, I don’t need to care for people without God’s help. I can try, but with him at the helm I will have a lot more success and a lot less stress.

Rwanda Nziza Cyane

Rwanda is breathtakingly beautiful. Here are some recent photos taken from the hospital grounds where we live.

The photo above gives the impression that the hospital is small. It’s not. The buildings sprawl across a few hundred metres. This is the private clinic.

Here are some photos we took on a recent weekend up north. Tim really needed a break somewhere else so he could come back and face the busyness again. We went to Gisenyi.

Easter

In the lead up to Easter we read and acted out the story as a family.

We were very excited that another family with our organisation came from across the border to share Easter weekend with us. We set up a tent in the garden for the kids and Catherine, and had a great time together sharing stories about our experiences in Africa.

We continued studying the story of Easter, went on walks and visited the ice-cream shop. We spent Easter Sunday at church followed by lunch at a friends’ house that felt like a real party to celebrate the new life Jesus has made possible for us all.

The kids were excited that an American friend in Kigali had given them some real chocolate Easter eggs to have a hunt like they would in Australia. I must say our kids don’t remember Easter egg hunts or chocolate Easter eggs but the girls from the other family are older and certainly did. I’m pretty sure our kids will next year too.

Happy Easter everyone. He is risen!

Eva, Steph and Beau Come On An Adventure

Cath’s Mum, youngest sister and nephew came to spend some time with us and go on a few adventures together. We hadn’t seen them for a whole year. Beau especially  had changed during that time: from a baby of 6 months into a little boy. After much chatting over Skype, it was so good to see them in person and be able to give them a hug.

They arrived at the end of February laden with huge amounts of luggage, most of which was for us (very kind and another excitement as they unpacked). Beau fitted in really well, soon teaming up with Hannah. By the end of the three and a half weeks the two of them would wake up in the morning asking for each other: very sweet.

We got up to a few adventures together. Tim came for some and stayed home to work during others. Here are a few highlights on which we remembered to take the camera.

Mama Jeremy’s New Tin Roof

Jeremy invited us to come and see his mother’s new tin roof. Only a few minutes drive from home, the town feels far away.

Visit to Nepo’s Family

Our gardener and night watchman Nepo welcomed our family to his home for chai. It’s a 45 minute drive from town. His wife and seven children can be found in the photo below, surrounded by lots of others from the village who came to say hello.

 

On Safari, then the exploring the capital city

We drove to the east of Rwanda to see wild animals in Akagera National Park. It was the longest day of driving I’ve ever done, off road too. But we saw lots of animals along the way. It was worth it. See some of them below!

At the end of the day the kids were excited to swim in a pool at the lodge with floating seats brought by ‘Oma’.

The next day we moved on to Kigali, where I showed Mum and Steph around the capital. At one point I went to a meeting, leaving them to explore a milling foreign market with three small white kids (who were bound to attract copious amounts of attention). I was very impressed that they not only coped, but ordered some handbags, caught a taxi and found their way back to the accommodation on their own.

We stayed an extra day in Kigali for me to have a potential skin cancer on my nose removed by a local plastic surgeon. I felt a bit overwhelmed by all the drama for what I thought was going to be a simple waiting-room-in-and-out-of-the-office procedure. As it turned out I had all day in hospital in a proper hospital bed, was wheeled to and from the surgery (where others were having hard core procedures done) and attended in surgery  by six staff. I can certainly say I was looked after! I can also say some weeks later that the surgeon did an excellent job (you can hardly see the scar), and more importantly the results for cancer were negative.

 

Birthdays

We celebrated Hannah’s 2nd birthday with a party. We forgot to take photos, but as she wouldn’t keep her clothes on they probably wouldn’t have been appropriate! She seemed to enjoy herself running around with a pack of children eating party food. Here is a photo of her delightedly opening presents on her actual birthday, and me blowing out my candles a few days later.

 

Hanging Around

 

Mama Africa Incredible Playground

We had one last outing before dropping Mum, Steph and Beau off at the airport: lunch and play at Mama Africa in Kigali. What an incredible playground! William in particular has really missed playgrounds and gets excited about a single swing or slide. Imagine how excited he was when he saw this…

There were also trampolines, a merry-go-round, a little train on a track you can sit in for a ride, a ball pit, and places for parents to sit and have a drink. Incredible!

It was very sad to say goodbye at the airport knowing how long it will be until we see each other again. But what a wonderful time we had together! Lots of good memories to keep us going until next time.

Clementine’s Land

Friends of my sister, hearing some of Clementine’s story, felt inspired to help her. An orphan from the genocide, she has no extended family to call upon. These friends pulled together to help her purchase a block of land on a hillside newly opened for development by the government. They hoped this would provide her with some security for times to come.

Clementine was ecstatic! She says she has family now, as these people looked after her as her own parents would have wanted to.

The story doesn’t end there. Clementine had enough money left to begin the foundations of a house. She hopes that as the years pass she will be able to add to the building. Three days after the paperwork was finalised, excited, she had a team of men digging in the garden to prepare the ground.

 

Unfortunately, on the second day work stopped abruptly and shock resounded when the workers discovered bones. Remains from the genocide. The police dealt with the remains efficiently, storing them for reburial at a service during the next Genocide Memorial Week.

Clementine was reeling. She couldn’t sleep for days kept awake by memories and threatened by bad dreams. What was she to do? The wonderful gift now was now tainted with a link to unthinkable times.

Clementine returned to the government office and asked if they would exchange the land for another block in the same area. They were happy to help, and exchanged it without additional fees.

Now Clementine has a new block, and intends to start work on it soon. When my mum visited recently she showed her the new land. It is further away from Butare’s prison, a little further from town, with a beautiful view. She is very happy. We hope the slightly bumpy beginning ends as intended in giving her some security in times to come. Clementine certainly feels it will. She feels loved by people who cared.